You know somethings wrong when you’re sitting on your bed crying saying “I am a good person, I am a good person” over and over :’(
Life is the toughest exam any of us will ever face❤️
Reminds me of myself😐😞
So my past two or so posts have been about this so called friend that I have. Two days ago, she said something really hurtful which deteriorated the confidence that I have taken a long time to build up. Yesterday, I was at a small party. I was drinking. We all were. Then out comes this friend, yet again putting me down. I almost swung for her and that isn’t like me at all. What annoyed me the most is that another friend, who also despises this person, didn’t even defend me? She just sat there and laughed, so I swung for her. I then went quiet and went to the bathroom every 10 minutes, to cry and talk to my best friend on facetime. I wanted to go home but I didn’t want to ruin the party. I’m at a stage now where if she says anything to me, which is said to hurt my feelings, my blood boils. She had the cheek to call me a bully a few weeks ago, yet the only bully I can see is her.
Almost 7 months ago, when I was with my ex, my uncle found out and he told me whole family which resulted in me not being able to travel to England. I kind of went mad at him because he had no right telling my personal business to everyone. I haven’t seem him in 8 months and I refuse to speak to him because of what he was saying after I went mad. It has affected my relationship with my grandma because they live together and I don’t see her alot anymore.
Today, they are all coming to my house for a siblings birthday and I am so scared. I don’t want him to speak to me or try speak to me because he ruined alot in my life. There is no going back now on my decision.
I’m scared he will try talk to me and if he does what am I supposed to say? “Oh were not together anymore because of you?” “You ruined our relationship?” I’m lost. I don’t want my ex to be brought back up, with what would of been our one year of being together coming up…
All I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling.
I used to have one, my ex, I guess i’ll always be alone now
So I have this friend, who recently i have grown to really dislike, well hate. She is a stupid bitch and i apologise for my language. She judges me on what I say and what I do as if I am always in the wrong? She picks on me, yet has the nerve to call me a bully, when I am a caring person and many people who know me, even my ex boyfriend(when we were together), and my best friend who lives in Scotland, have told me it numerous times. I couldn’t be a more caring person like I want to be a midwife.. Ive been bullied too so i wouldn’t bully anyone. Im at a stage now where I want to leave and not be friends with this person anymore, but we are in two to three classes together every week so it would be awkward if we weren’t friends…
She calls me names for “joking about suicide” something which I have attempted many times and think about a lot. Yet she just took what I said the wrong way and twisted my words.
I do not want to be alive anymore and I would do anything to be dead, but I force myself to stay busy and thrive for the future that I dream of everyday and the future that I DESERVE. I have worked long and hard to be where I am today. No I am not perfect, but who is. I have cared too much for certain people and I have stayed loyal to the people who I should be loyal to. Most importantly I have always put others before myself, even when I’m suffering.
I’m sick of this person, who is a bully to me, and to another one of my friends too. I just wish she would stop. She doesn’t realise the effect that this has on me.